Tips for a more satisfying life

by Debbie Hutchinson, Psy.D.

As a 21st century woman, you are even better equipped to turn your desires into realities. Getting rid of emotions that are limiting such as depression and stress and replacing them with greater balance will lead to feelings of fulfillment and excitement in life.  

The following tips will help as you develop a mindset of success.

Know your core emotions
Life's circumstances can be overwhelming and may lead to real feelings of anger. While anger is a real emotion that we all experience at times, remaining in an angry state saps your energy and can lead to bad reactions and decisions. Whenever you feel angry about a situation, immediately identify the core emotion(s) that are occurring and address the situation based on the core emotion versus the anger. 

We have 4 core emotions:

  • Hurt
  • Fear
  • Guilt
  • Shame

For example, if you are feeling angry at a co-worker, identify if it is because of something the co-worker said that possibly "hurt" (core emotion) your feelings. If that is the case, process why, examine your role in the situation, and identify if it will be useful to discuss with the co-worker once you have calmed down with the goal of attaining resolution. The outcome will usually result in progress versus creating another setback.

Delegate responsibility
Delegating responsibility as appropriate in both the work and home setting fosters independence and the development of problem-solving skills while at the same time building a "team spirit."

Know what you want
Despite the negative connotation regarding the old cliché of "carrying around a list of qualities that you want in a mate" do it!  Research supports writing out your goals as a step in making them realities. While compromise is good, "settling" is not.  This applies to relationships and career goals. 

Reframe your thoughts
Launching children from the nest is something most parents have been preparing for their since the birth of their kids. Of course it is a time of transition and to some degree loss. But, it is more so a time to celebrate success. Arrival at the acceptance phase of grief, which is the final stage, is knowledge that says we made it through the childhood years and now the rewards of the future are yours for the taking.

Address your financial situation
Most of us have felt the impact of the economic situation in our country. Begin now to address your problems whether they are related to day-to-day living, retirement or both. Obtain financial advice where appropriate and start saving today. If there are no dollars to save, maybe there are coins in the bottom of the purse to put in a jar. It creates a mindset to save and is at the very least a start.  Begin where you can but don't "do nothing".

Remember - taking action steps toward your goals brings you closer to success!